by Travelin’ with Travis
As the nicer riding
weather sets in
Still Runnin Magazine
thought we’d share
this true story
with you folks
on two wheels ...
Always being a lucky SOB, I figured I’d take an extra long lunch hour. So I threw on my chaps and jacket and cranked the Hog. Just a cruise across town and kick back, at my apartment, and relax. Well, as luck would have it, I’m easin’ down I-95, with a couple of cars a little ways behind me and a truck with trailer a little ways ahead of me. Cool. I’m enjoyin’ the ride and notice that it’s a horse trailer, with two horses. Hey, I’m ridin’ a steel horse. I happen to notice that one horse has his tail blowin’ in the wind. I’m thinkin’ they’re probably as happy as I am just cruisin’ down the road. And then I see his tail go up in the air. Way up in the air!
All of a sudden, in slow motion, I see a brown stream coming from the horse with his tail blowin’ up in the wind. This brown stream makes a perfect arc kind of like water from a fire hose, at full force. No it couldn’t be – YES IT IS ASSH@LE! It’s horse shit in all its glory.
As it arcs it then splashes to the pavement maybe 10 feet in front of me! Do you know where horse shit goes when it hits the pavement, at 65mph, right in front of you?
The splash bounced up, in a massive spray that totally engulfed me. Yep, I rode through a wall of horse shit. And that horse didn’t go just a little squirt. No, no, no, he crapped like it was his last hurrah!!. The entire front of the bike and all of my front, from head to toe, was drenched in horse shit; even under my helmet. And I can tell you, with all honesty, that I tasted what that horse had for breakfast. It was premium sweet feed and I’ll never forget that taste. It really wasn’t bad! No shit!
The slow motion was over and the cars had moved up near me, in the other lane. Those people had the most amazing look of disgust I have ever seen. They were just peering out their windows at me. All I could do was to start laughing. I laughed and laughed, with premium sweet feed all in my mustache and beard and just everywhere. I even had to wipe my glasses, to clear the feed away so I could see the road. Ah, but what a taste and what an aroma.
It must have taken me two hours to shower, clean my leathers somewhat and just hose the bike down. When I got back to work no one had missed me but I knew I had lunch, free of charge!
Well, I’m still a lucky SOB. And I still love horses.I just don’t ride behind them anymore!!!!!
And this is a true story. Experienced by and told by Travis
